Leaves :)

Hello everyone,

It has been a while since I reported. I have a few new sounds to report! My brother and sister in law was in town a few weeks ago with my twin nieces and nephew. As you can see I have posted my first photo of my cochlear implant with my brother's. Now we look a little more alike :).

The first thing we did when they arrived was drive in the minivan to a park near by. I was sitting in the front seat giving directions, which is hilarious because I am TERRIBLE at directions! Anyways, my twin nieces and nephew LOVE to talk and they were very excited about heading to the park. They started asking a lot of questions and usually I have to turn around to face them to understand what they are saying. For the first time, I was able to look straight ahead and answer their questions. This was when my family noticed how well I was hearing!

Other new sounds... I was drinking out of a fruit box (yes, I still like fruit boxes just like a kid) and I heard an unusual sound, then I figured out that it was me sucking the juice out of the box. It is loud! Last night, I heard the click of the buttons when pressing the remote to change the channels. A little annoying!

The sounds I enjoyed the most happened last week when I was on a walk. It was a gorgeous fall day and the leaves were starting to fall on the ground and there was a little breeze. As I was walking, I heard a scraping noise and I looked around to see if I could figure it out. Sure enough, I saw a dried up leaf moving across the pavement. It was so bizarre that something so small could make such a loud noise.

Afterwards, I stomped through the leaves and it made such a loud crunching noise. It sounded so crisp! Then, I sat on a bench in the middle of the park and heard the leaves rustling in the trees! That was my favorite of all since the visual audiogram (a chart that shows hearing loss) that I have used with my students had a visual image of "leaves rustling" to indicate what a high frequency sounds like. I have always wondered what rustling leaves would sound like, it brought tears to my eyes when I finally heard it. I can't wait to hear the sounds of winter!

My latest sound discovery happened today when I was at work. I was in the office with my other co-worker and friend, Amy. She is the other member of the team with a hearing loss. Amy has a mild to severe high frequency hearing loss and wears hearing aids. Most of the time, she hears much better than I do, but today I was able to hear something she couldn't. This was a little funny. I think I have bionic hearing now! For the past month, I have heard an unusual tap sound occurring almost every second. I have repeatedly asked staff what it was and they could not identify the sound. Today I finally figured it out! It was the second hand on the wall clock!

Third Mapping Appointment on September 19th

Hello everyone!

It has been a while since I have blogged on here. The beginning of the school year is always a crazy time of year. The last time I blogged on here was the day before school started. At that time, I mentioned that sounds were becoming more natural and that there were no new sounds to be learned. Well, I was in for a treat! Different environments most definitely bring different sounds! My first week back was spent getting used to all the new sounds in my office which is in a portable. I appreciate the patience of my co-workers as they tried to identify all the nonsense sounds that I was hearing!

I work with eight other people and the first week is usually crazy getting inservice materials ready for our new students. Just to name a few things I heard...eight other people clacking on their keyboards at once, the dings of the incoming mail on our work e-mail, various cell phone rings and beeps, shuffling of a lot of paper, tons of stapling, computers whirring, refrigerator and electronical equipment humming in the corner, various voices talking around me, the leaf blower outside of the portable, crinkling of many snacks, the microwave running...I was sooooo exhausted by the end of the day that whole week! Talk about overload! I had to give my ears a break, so I took out my hearing aids often.

A month has passed since my first week back at work. Things seem to be much easier. I am understanding new staff and my students' voices a lot better. I am not constantly straining to hear like I was before. On Monday, I gave an inservice to a 2nd grade classroom. It was funny to be able to explain the cochlear implant by showing my head and taking off the speech processor. Usually I had a mock implant or photos of someone with an implant. The students were very fascinated with the magnet sticking to my head.

Another thing others have noticed is my speech. According to others my speech seemed to have improved greatly over the past month. My cochlear implant audiologist noticed this the most. She was amazed of how different the voice was in a month. Other friends have described my voice as being more clear and articulate. I guess I am hearing myself a little bit better these days, ha.

Anyways, on September 19th, I headed back down to Mayo to have my third mapping appointment. It was similar to first two of identifying sounds and making sure they are comfortable for me. Then, she adjusted my programs and made suggested new things to try. She said the quality of my hearing will continue to improve with the new map.

Lastly and the most important part of the visit was getting tested with my cochlear implant. I have posted my audiogram above. I scored within normal ranges with the implant! It was weird to see normal levels on my audiogram! Very exciting! It didn't hit me that I have been doing so well hearing until I did this test.

Then she tested me by giving me a variety of words with different voices. I recognized 68% of the words and 85% of the phonemes. My sentence recognition with the implant only was at 95%!! I scored a 58% when I first qualified for the implant, so this is a huge change. My tests also showed that I demonstrated significantly better performance with the cochlear implant and hearing aid in the noisy condition only. Overall, my implant is doing most of the work. My next mapping appointment will be in January 2009.

After my mapping appointment, I met with my cochlear implant surgeon and he said he was pleased with the progress I made and impressed as well. My scar looks good and there are no concerns.

This Friday, my brother Scotty, sister-in-law Tracy as well as my favorite little kids in the world are coming to visit! They will be the first family members to see me with the implant. It will be neat to see if they can tell a difference from before. Then following weekend, I will be in Atlanta visiting my other brother David with my parents. I am so looking forward to spending quality time with my family. Thanks for reading!

The world is getting a lot less noisy :)

I am still working on uploading the videos from when I was first activated. It does not seem to be working for some reason. I will keep trying! Thanks for your continued support! The world has become a lot less noisy! I am becoming used to hearing sounds in my environment. It is not as overwhelming as it has been. The fans have definitely toned down :). Sounds seem much more natural and sometimes it is hard for me to remember if I heard a certain sound before or if it is new for me.

On Friday night I was playing Pictionary with nine other friends who are hearing. A lot of talking was happening at once especially during "All Play"! That night I asked Sarah if she noticed if I was hearing a little better than before. She said it seems like it a little but it was hard to know because it was a noisy game! My friend Ben later told Sarah that he noticed stutle differences. He noticed that I did not say "what" as often as before or do the frequent nodding acting like I heard it (I know I am terrible!). I felt less tired and more with it.

Today, I was at Sarah's house getting ready to go on a walk. I said I had to use the bathroom quick before we went on our walk. As I closed the bathroom door, I heard clear as day, "Oh Kristine". I thought, she wants my attention, so I opened the door then walked out. I looked at her, thought for a second, and said, "could I have heard that before?". She said no and she was surprised I heard it too! It was a funny experience, I am hearing through walls! Sometimes wonder if I have bionic hearing!

Then, we went on our walk for an hour. I have gone on numerous walks with her before. Usually I ended up getting a stiff neck from turning my head to read her lips while walking at the same time. So, when we walked today, I noticed I did not need to look at her when walking. I heard everything she said while looking straight ahead. This did not feel natural for me, ha. I was not sure what was normal, so I asked her, "people who do hear normally, do they look straight ahead while walking with someone?" It was a funny experience and I was able to see more on my walk!

Every Day is a New Day!

I think I am still in shock or it has not hit me that I can actually hear fairly well with my right ear. I sometimes think it is a temporary thing and not forever. That I am trying out a new hearing aid or something. It continues to be a bizarre experience of hearing sounds that a normal person would hear. I always thought I could hear very well with the support of my hearing aids. I guess I thought the hearing aids gave me normal hearing, but actually it brought my levels up to a conversational level. At this level I did not hear all those soft and high pitch sounds that actually alert you of what is going on in the environment.

Everyday is a new day and I continue to discover new sounds and new ways of doing things. Today, I was in one of my bathrooms curling my hair and my implant went flying onto the metal of my curling iron! I thought this was hilarious! So, I now know to not curl the hair with the implant on! Then when I was in the bathroom, I heard a buzz from the other bathroom which let me know that the dryer completed it's cycle. Then, I was in the kitchen and I heard the same buzz three times which meant the washer was done. Crazy!

Tonight, I had the opportunity to go back to my old part time job of being an advocate for a teenager who has Autism. I worked at the Jewish Community Center and the camp for three years. This camp was in Minneapolis and it was Art Fest week. This was my first time being around many teenagers (about 100!) with the implant on. The noise did not bother me too much and I was able to understand most of the teenagers when they talked to me.

One interesting discovery was hearing my camper talking to himself and making noises while walking behind me. I guess he must have always done this in the past and now I actually hear it. It brought a smile to my face, I was able to understand his behaviors a little more. Then, we walked out to the outdoor pool. From across the pool, I heard someone calling my name. It was my old supervisor and he along with myself was surprised I actually heard it!

After swimming, all the campers gathered around the campfire to sing songs. The first song was the Hebrew version of Happy Birthday. It was Israel's 60th birthday this year as a country. I have heard this song numerous times during my three years at Camp Butwin, but I truly understood the words. Tonight, I was able to sing along :). There were many other Jewish songs that I never could grasp in the past, but I felt like I discovered the Hebrew language for the first time tonight! I was actually able to sing along! On top of that I was able to hear people around me singing the songs which never happens. It always sounded garbled and this experience allowed me to feel included.

One of my biggest fears of getting the cochlear implant was losing my identity as someone in the deaf world. In the past week, I have found that nothing has changed. I am still going about life the same way I have in the past, hanging out with friends who are hearing and deaf. My friends are my friends no matter what with the implant or not. I feel very fortunate and this whole process made me realize how lucky I truly am with the never-ending support of friends. Thank you!

My first mapping appointment

I just found out that my right hearing aid has been found at my parents house! It was sitting on a chair in the kitchen and I completely overlooked it! I could have swore that I threw it out in the garbage. I am so happy to know I didn't! Yay!

On Friday, I had my first mapping appointment. It was similar to the activation appointment. She showed me my "impetus" levels, which are the levels that my ear can be stimulated at. I believe this is the correct way to explain this. She was happy that I was willing to take in high frequency sounds. I think I have gotten used to the high frequency sounds from my digital hearing aids. She gave me multiple beeps and I had to tell her if it was too soft or soft. Then, we moved onto other beeps and I had to identify if they were "okay"sounds. After that, she played back all the beeps of the 22 electrodes and I had to let her know if it sounded too high or too soft when compared to the other beeps. They all sounded good to me, therefore my MAP was completed. I will need to gradually increase the volume which is currently set at 1 and can go up to 9 as well as increasing my sensitivity levels from a 6 to 10 as I slowly become used to sound. My next mapping appointment will be in three weeks on September 19th, which I will get tuned up again.

Once the MAP was created, she created four programs for my speech processor. Program one is ADRO which will automatically adjust my sound levels to provide clarity and comfort in a variety of environments. Program two is Auto-sensitivity plus ADRO to be used for noisier places like driving in the car. Program three is ADRO with Auto-sensitivity and Smart Sound Beam. This is good for restaurants, I would point my nose in the direction of sound I want to hear like a a flashlight beam. The last program is Smart Sound Whisper plus ADRO. This is good for listening to music, nature and quieter listening environments.

Some of the challenges of the implant so far are the steady ring / hum that I hear when all is quiet. I guess my brother still experiences this. I asked my implant audiologist and she said people do experience that. It is like similar to tinnitus, ringing of the ears. Also, every time I take off my implant there is a steady ring that stays for about two minutes. It is similar to people hearing ringing noises after leaving a concert. I guess this is normal because my nerves are being conditioned to hearing sounds. Another challenging thing is that I when I first put on the implant it sounds like a lot of electrical sounds of multiple pitches for first few minutes until I start recognizing sounds again. Other things that I am getting used to are breaking the habit of putting my hair behind my ear, it does not work with the cord attached to the magnet. So, when eating, I feel like my hair is in my way, maybe I need to shave it off, ha. Also, I am learning to hug people a little gingerly so I don't whack them in the head with my magnet or implant. I thought I might break the internal implant, but my implant audiologist told me I would likely break my skull before my implant since the implant is made of titanium. Good to know, ha. These are some little things that I need to get used to which is nothing compared to the benefits I will get with hearing new sounds in the environment.

One major experience of hearing occurred on Friday night, I went to a "fry-out" as the Sheboyganites of Wisconsin would say :). So for those of you outside my hometown would call it a cook-out, bar-b-que or grill-out at my friend Sarah and Ben Harding. There were six other people there. We sat outside for majority of the time. Then, it started to become dark and there were no lights on the table or on the deck. Normally, I would have to request to have more light available so I could read lips. While I was sitting there I realized people were talking all around me and I was unable to see their lips, but I understood what they were saying! It was very surreal experience. It was very foreign and bizarre to actually hear people in the dark without the help of their facial expressions or lips. I can tell that each day my recognition of sounds is improving. Also, my friend Jason thought I was enunciating my words a little more too. So, it is possible that I am able to hear my own voice a little better these days as well.

Thanks again for reading!

What a NOISY world we live in!

The last couple of days, I have been surrounding myself with voices and noises to train my brain as fast as I can before school starts. It has been an eye-opening experience! It can be a very draining and tiring process as well. I have been taking a few naps and auditory breaks. The biggest task has been recognizing the sound, identifying it and moving on. It is not so much learning to listen, but actually learning to not listen to the unnecessary sounds in the environment. Most of these sounds are ones that most hearing people have tuned out. Major sensory overload, but no headache yet! So grateful for that!

My first big discovery of sounds happened right after I left my audiology appointment. I went to lunch at City Cafe with Sarah and her mom (who drove from Rollingstone by Winona to join us, thank you!). We walked through downtown Rochester which was FULL of noises from traffic and construction, I could not figure out any of the sounds, but could still hear Sarah's voice. After we sat down, I started punching numbers on my cell phone to call my family, I heard the tiny beeps that it made. Then, I went to the bathroom which was very quiet. I washed my hands and I heard the water rushing out of the faucet, then the paper rustling when drying my hands, my feet shuffling on the tiled floor and the zipper on my purse. It was quite the experience in the bathroom! I was glad no one had come in because I was just standing there in wonder of all the noise that I was recognizing!

Afterwards, I started to write down all the various noises I was recognizing: the ice cubes rattling against the glass when stirring with a straw, the click of the pen cap coming on and off, laughing noises made by the tables around me, two men talking next to me, silverware tapping on the plates when eating, the rustling of the menu when turning the page over, dishes being put away near by, some of the beats of the techno music being played at the restaurant, a woman talking down the hall when walking in the subway level to the parking lot, the rubbing of hands together when Sarah put on hand sanitizer, rubbing of my skin when I put on sunblock, raindrops pounding on the windshield and the tap of a drum on one of the CD's I was listening to in the car.

After I arrived home, I met eight of my college friends at a bar / restaurant. I was curious how I would be able to handle this. Normally, it is a struggle especially when there are no sound absorbent ceilings and the floor was made of wood. Overall, it did appear to be easier to follow some conversations. It had been only seven hours since I was hooked up, so I had to give myself some credit. One thing I noticed that I could understand my friend Betsy very well. She has a soft and quieter voice and it had always been difficult for me to understand her. She sat on my right side (which was my implant side) and I felt like I understood everything she said for the first time! It was really a cool experience to have a full conversation with her without struggling. Yay!

Later, I went to the Trudeau's house where six other friends were. We were in the basement where it was quiet and I turned off my hearing aid and used only my implant. I tried to hear their voices through the implant. All of them sounded entirely different! I felt like I landed on a different planet and all of their voices had been changed! It was interesting, since you are used to people sounding a certain way, so I will need to relearn all new voices! It is a little challenging when trying to determine who is talking when in a large group.

The next morning, I woke up and decided to start training my brain right away by using only the implant. I started typing on my computer, I heard the clicking of the keys right away. Then I was hearing this noise that was going in and out, and I looked around for a while in my condo trying to figure out what it could be. Then I turned the sensitivity down on my implant (this means the distance of how far the sound will be picked up, normal people hear at a sensitivity of 10). I still heard the noise. Then after five minutes, I thought it might be my breathing, so I breathed dramatically and sure enough I discovered my breathing, ha. Once I recognized the breathing it was not annoying for me anymore.

* Just now, while I type to you on my balcony, I finally heard and recognized on my own the chirping of a bird in the tree!! I have heard multiple noises and others have told me these are birds, I finally heard a single bird chirping! Very cool. Also, I think I might be hearing the leaves rustling in the wind, not sure yet.

Other things I discovered were scratching noise when I scratched my face, coins clattering together when thrown in the wallet, my clothes touching each other when I walk, my keys jingling, the beep of a car alarm, people talking out in the hallway, air conditioners and a car starting in a parking lot. My worse enemy are FANS! VERY difficult to distinguish, they are much louder for me than others. I am determined to tackle the fans!

I heard voices!

* I am currently working on uploading the videos...hopefully they will upload soon! I guess there are issues with uploading videos in the past week, I will have to try again later!

Yesterday, I picked up my friend Sarah Trudeau (thanks for coming with me!) and we were off for my initial activation appointment at Mayo! I was feeling pretty good until a few minutes before my appointment, I became very nervous and a little excited. I was worried that the implant would not work. I felt that I accidentally sneezed a few times too many during my recovery and possibly screwed up my implant. I know...very silly.

We met with Rene' Gifford who is an audiologist and the assistant director of the Cochlear Implant Program. She placed a large rectangular box on the desk that contained all the equipment for my Nucleus Freedom processor. I was amazed at all the items that I received for my implant!

I got a back-up processor, so basically like a another hearing aid, but these processors are $7500 a piece! I will make sure I don't lose this back-up! A little story for you, I had been proud of myself to have never lost a hearing aid in my life. So, when I arrived home to recover, I had two small plastic containers that held my hearing aids when they removed them in the operating room. At the time, I was the under influence of many drugs and I thought, I have my hearing aid on so I don't need the containers anymore. I accidentally threw out my other hearing aid that I was going to use as a back up for my left ear! AGH!!! So, hopefully if anyone finds it at the dump, will know someone who needs a good working hearing aid! Unbelievable!

Anyways, my kit had many accessories: a carrying case, a rechargeable battery case, twelve earhooks, monitor earphones, lapel microphone, four battery racks, eight microphone protectors, personal audio cable and TV/ HiFi cable. I also got stickers to put on my processor if I felt like decorating it, ha, such as rainbows, stars, bears, hearts, soccer balls, basketballs, etc. I also got adapters for my two rechargeable batteries, so I can use it in other countries. Ten packs of Implant Plus battery packs to use as back-ups for the rechargeable batteries. I guess the rechargeable battery usually last about 12 hours. What was really cool was the Dry and Store kit to keep my implant in, when not in use to keep the moisture out. I wish they would give this away when you buy a new hearing aid! I was very impressed with everything. Then, I asked about how much the actual implant costs...$35,000!!! Wow!

Moving on to the activation...I was given some of the technical descriptions of the chart on the computer and completely blanked out on what it means, but I will explain the best I can of what I remember. The coil was placed on my head, but the magnet was not strong enough. Most people use #2 & #3 strength, I needed a #4. My head may still be swollen. I thought the magnet was on the scar line, but it is actually past the shaved part of my head. I guess it got tucked underneath the skin. Then, I put my speech processor on for the first time. It felt interesting having something stuck to my head and the processor was bigger than my regular hearing aid. I quickly got used to it and it was no big deal. On the computer screen, there was an animated picture of the coiled electrode in my cochlea and showed 22 electrodes lighting up as it was activated. I was not hearing anything yet.

Rene' explained that on the day of my surgery, she was in her office in another building working through a modem to test my implant while I was on the operating table. She said she gave it many tests for about 15 minutes. If I was awake during the tests, it would have been unbearably loud. Rene' said that my implant gave very good responses on the day of surgery and that it was was working properly. She also explained that some people do not hear voices right away and it takes a while. I had no idea what to expect. I remember hearing noises in my ear for a few days after my surgery when I would lay down going from soft to loud like it was going through 22 electrodes. I wonder if this is something I was remembering from being out on the table? Next, she sent me some beeps on some of the high frequency electrodes. I had to identify if they were soft, medium, okay or too loud! We were working on getting all the sounds to sound "okay".

Then, it was time to turn on the implant! I really wasn't sure what to expect. The sounds were like major explosive cackling, computerized and very unpleasant! I tried to explain the best I could of what I was hearing on the videos that I attached. The sounds I was hearing were very unexpected and insane. I was worked hard to detect and recognize any sound. It REALLY helped to have my other hearing aid.

Then about five minutes after being activated, I was told to turn off my hearing aid, I heard my first voice! I focused on Rene's lips while she was talking and I slowly started to detect her voice. Her voice slowly started to make sense to me and it felt like she was very close to me and not far away. Then, my friend Sarah said something and I was surprised! I know her voice very well since I have known her for about nine years. Her voice sounded so different than I know! It was startling and a little funny at the same time.

As time went on and we talked more, my levels were increased slightly and I was learning to accept more noises in my environment. The processor and sounds were getting a little better as time went on. Sarah asked how much I would hear potentially, Rene' printed out my audiogram and said with the implant I should be hearing within the normal ranges at 20 decibels. We will see! Rene explained that I may want to continue to increase the volume because it might sound too soft. I left the office on volume one and I am currently at volume 6. Soon, I will report about the various new sounds I have heard in my next post. Thanks for reading!

Photo #1: With my friend Sarah, thanks again for joining me!
Photo #2 of my speech processor
Video one: I was first activated
Video two: Hearing voices for the first time